![\"\"](\"https://www.seebtm.com/wp-content/uploads/bigstock-222520600.jpg\")
In the sea of media announcements \u2013 as well as messages that we personally exchange with the people we know \u2013 news about someone reigns supreme. About someone who is special in some way or about someone completely anonymous who is important only to those who love them \u2013 family and friends. Special and important circumstances do not happen to mere mortals, but instead only to important people, which is why it\u2019s good \u2013 and above all lucrative, according to modern (non-scientific) research \u2013 to be special!
\nScience tells us that there no two fingers on one hand are the same, and in light of that, no two people in the world are either. On the one hand, people are aware of this deep inside and have no doubts about their uniqueness. But on the other hand, on the surface of the needs of many people emerges a strong desire to demonstrate and substan\u0004ate this authen\u0004city in various ways, and some\u0004mes they go overboard. Being unique, authen\u0004c, special, and singular \u2013 every human being feels this urge and as such belongs to different systems or groups of kindred others. These two needs \u2013 being with one\u2019s birds of a feather and staying special \u2013 are fundamental to human existence.
\nOver the course of life, in every stage of development, the question arises as to how or \u2013 perhaps more importantly \u2013 in what order do these needs evolve and what prevails in terms of showing and posi\u0004oning oneself, regardless of the very certain presence of both dimensions. Since we know that people are very complex beings in both psychological and physiological terms, this too is an area where individuality holds sway. We won\u2019t be looking at childhood, a \u0004me when everyone has a pronounced need for belonging, safety, and acceptance, which \u2013 in addi\u0004tion to the emotional and family levels \u2013 is met also by belonging to groups in which we share similar interests and/or procliviti\u0004es. A\u0006fter finishing high school, getting into college, and integrati\u0004ng into society through employment, adolescence and adulthood steer us towards those that are like us, those that share with us a certain level of interests and proclivi\u0004ties, or similar social needs. However, most o\u0006ften simultaneously, they prompt \u2013 or more precisely make conscious \u2013 the need to be unique.
Being unique definitely creates a feeling that the person can be privileged on various grounds. If it does not bring any concrete privileges when it comes to the so-called positi\u0004ve uniqueness \u2013 owing support, transparency of success \u2013 it certainly brings about the circumstance that the person gets no\u0004ticed. The most important end result of being noti\u0005ced is the annihila\u0005tion of one of the most common fears \u2013 fear of loneliness, although reality does not necessarily jus\u0005tify this.
\n\nThe psychological self-portrait of uniqueness or a portrait of someone\u2019s uniqueness, as always, has the other side of the coin, which is what is expected from us as unique people and being aware of how difficult it is to survive on the pedestal that others have put us on by labeling us as unique.
Uniqueness can come in forms that we do not see as posi\u0004tive. Widely used terms such as \u201cwhite crow\u201d or \u201cblack sheep\u201d commonly refer to individuals who don\u2019t behave or comply with social norms, but who are indeed unique. Everyone knows about them, everyone hears about them, everyone is interested in them \u2013 even when they are afraid of them or they recoil from a type of uniqueness. Being unique to many means just that \u2013 being no\u0005ticed and abandoning the anonymity of life, which is often interpreted as undesirable. For these people we say that they are unique only because they maintain certain undesirable traits or behaviors. Some other people, unique in terms of virtue, seek a significant place in the lives of others in inadequate \u2013 or even unpleasant or perhaps aggressive \u2013 ways, emphasizing their uniqueness as an irrefutable argument for myriad demands. We might think that someone, despite being unique, has become also narcissisti\u0004c, and so the uniqueness loses its allure.
\nAnd for those who are unique and who consider themselves unique for some specific reason, there\u2019s a hint of poten\u0004tial pushiness and the ques\u0004tion of to what extent is it comfortable and acceptable to the surroundings. Do people who are unique also have a right to unique behaviors that exceeds the capacities of friendship, collegiality, family or roman\u0005tic relationships? Who and why would or should tolerate that?! Do unique people have actually different, bigger rights than someone who is (with or without reason) considered ordinary? The answer seems easier than it looks at first glance because the experience of others\u2019 uniqueness is either created by ourselves or accepted as imposed by the environment.
\nWe choose whether we accept, support, or act accordingly \u2013 and no one else. Similarly, we are the ones who create the sense of our own uniqueness, wan\u0005ting few or many others around us to accept it. As the number of those who perceive us as unique grows, so do our demands, and our behavior changes in that we raise our criteria and expecta\u0004tions in our relati\u0004onships, in terms of how much those people who see us as unique are willing to do for us, to please us, or even to forgive us. A look in the mirror of our own uniqueness, which is precisely those other people, creates an oft\u0006en unrealis\u0004tic image of us or at least an insight into what is alright to ask for and expect, and at the same \u0004time not provide. The psychological self-portrait of uniqueness or a portrait of someone\u2019s uniqueness, as always, has the other side of the coin, which is what is expected from us as unique people and being aware of how difficult it is to survive on the pedestal that others have put us
\non by labeling us as unique.
Yes, opposites do att\bract, but similarities stay together! Differences are much more likely to provoke interest than similari\u0005ties. The most common differences pertain to traits or acti\u0004ons that we aspire to but that we do not own or take. Many \u0004mes we might wish to be different, like those whom we perceive as unique, quite o\u0006ften only because they\u2019re living in a dimension that is unatt\bainable to us.![\"\"](\"https://www.seebtm.com/wp-content/uploads/Untitled-1.jpg\")
We judge them as unique, although for others they are pretty ordinary. We flirt with our own aspects of uniqueness, experiment with possibili\u0004ties, tes\u0004ting the limits of our own percepti\u0004on of uniqueness and comparing ourselves with those who have made their authenti\u0004city transparent.
\n\nIt is true that we are unique, but the breadth of our insights into our own uniqueness and uniqueness of others stems from feeling love or recognizing likeness.
When we shake hands with someone who is like us, we don\u2019t think about how our hands are always unique \u2013 star\u0004ting from fingerprints to impressions and feelings that we inspire in each other.
\nWe offer our hand of authen\u0004ticity to another unique hand, not thinking in advance whether we will be (or become) the one who is unique for that person or situati\u0004on. We remember that later, the moment when we recognize the importance of the relati\u0004onship or circumstance to ourselves. We take a look at our newborn and revel in the fact that it looks like us and at the same \u0004time wish the child from the bo\bttom of our hearts to be unique, to be be\btter, prett\fer, wiser and more authen\u0004tic than ourselves.
\nAnd quite o\u0006ften we will raise the child in that direction. Be yourself, but stay mine. Be special, but always belong to me.
\nTo us, people who are unique and special are those who are close to our hearts.
\nThose who play an important role in our lives, who have special importance and place.
\nSo, when we ask ourselves if there is someone who does not want to be unique, the answer will be \u201cno.\u201d We all want it and we all have at least a few people that we think are unique on a very personal level, and we are aware that it would hurt us if they too wouldn\u2019t keep a special place in their lives for us.
\nIt is true that we are unique, but the breadth of our insights into our own uniqueness and uniqueness of others stems from feeling love or recognizing likeness.
\nWhen we realize this, uniqueness will become a mirror for recognizing those we love or aspects we love, and get from others \u2013 whether they be ar\u0004tists, athletes, bosses, or random passers-by.
\nDragana Deh, M.Sc., psychology, systemic therapist and life coach, together with her fellow experts designs and holds themed educa\u0004tional workshops and team building workshops tailored to the specific needs of both smaller and larger companies. If you need any information, please contact us at dragana.deh@gmail.com (www.psihooaza.com)
\n\n
The post \u201cSame, Special, Free, One of a Kind\u201d appeared first on SEE Business travel & meetings magazine.
\n", "content_text": "In the sea of media announcements \u2013 as well as messages that we personally exchange with the people we know \u2013 news about someone reigns supreme. About someone who is special in some way or about someone completely anonymous who is important only to those who love them \u2013 family and friends. Special and important circumstances do not happen to mere mortals, but instead only to important people, which is why it\u2019s good \u2013 and above all lucrative, according to modern (non-scientific) research \u2013 to be special!\nScience tells us that there no two fingers on one hand are the same, and in light of that, no two people in the world are either. On the one hand, people are aware of this deep inside and have no doubts about their uniqueness. But on the other hand, on the surface of the needs of many people emerges a strong desire to demonstrate and substan\u0004ate this authen\u0004city in various ways, and some\u0004mes they go overboard. Being unique, authen\u0004c, special, and singular \u2013 every human being feels this urge and as such belongs to different systems or groups of kindred others. These two needs \u2013 being with one\u2019s birds of a feather and staying special \u2013 are fundamental to human existence.\nOver the course of life, in every stage of development, the question arises as to how or \u2013 perhaps more importantly \u2013 in what order do these needs evolve and what prevails in terms of showing and posi\u0004oning oneself, regardless of the very certain presence of both dimensions. Since we know that people are very complex beings in both psychological and physiological terms, this too is an area where individuality holds sway. We won\u2019t be looking at childhood, a \u0004me when everyone has a pronounced need for belonging, safety, and acceptance, which \u2013 in addi\u0004tion to the emotional and family levels \u2013 is met also by belonging to groups in which we share similar interests and/or procliviti\u0004es. A\u0006fter finishing high school, getting into college, and integrati\u0004ng into society through employment, adolescence and adulthood steer us towards those that are like us, those that share with us a certain level of interests and proclivi\u0004ties, or similar social needs. However, most o\u0006ften simultaneously, they prompt \u2013 or more precisely make conscious \u2013 the need to be unique.\nBeing unique definitely creates a feeling that the person can be privileged on various grounds. If it does not bring any concrete privileges when it comes to the so-called positi\u0004ve uniqueness \u2013 owing support, transparency of success \u2013 it certainly brings about the circumstance that the person gets no\u0004ticed. The most important end result of being noti\u0005ced is the annihila\u0005tion of one of the most common fears \u2013 fear of loneliness, although reality does not necessarily jus\u0005tify this.\nThe psychological self-portrait of uniqueness or a portrait of someone\u2019s uniqueness, as always, has the other side of the coin, which is what is expected from us as unique people and being aware of how difficult it is to survive on the pedestal that others have put us on by labeling us as unique.\nUniqueness can come in forms that we do not see as posi\u0004tive. Widely used terms such as \u201cwhite crow\u201d or \u201cblack sheep\u201d commonly refer to individuals who don\u2019t behave or comply with social norms, but who are indeed unique. Everyone knows about them, everyone hears about them, everyone is interested in them \u2013 even when they are afraid of them or they recoil from a type of uniqueness. Being unique to many means just that \u2013 being no\u0005ticed and abandoning the anonymity of life, which is often interpreted as undesirable. For these people we say that they are unique only because they maintain certain undesirable traits or behaviors. Some other people, unique in terms of virtue, seek a significant place in the lives of others in inadequate \u2013 or even unpleasant or perhaps aggressive \u2013 ways, emphasizing their uniqueness as an irrefutable argument for myriad demands. We might think that someone, despite being unique, has become also narcissisti\u0004c, and so the uniqueness loses its allure.\nAnd for those who are unique and who consider themselves unique for some specific reason, there\u2019s a hint of poten\u0004tial pushiness and the ques\u0004tion of to what extent is it comfortable and acceptable to the surroundings. Do people who are unique also have a right to unique behaviors that exceeds the capacities of friendship, collegiality, family or roman\u0005tic relationships? Who and why would or should tolerate that?! Do unique people have actually different, bigger rights than someone who is (with or without reason) considered ordinary? The answer seems easier than it looks at first glance because the experience of others\u2019 uniqueness is either created by ourselves or accepted as imposed by the environment.\nWe choose whether we accept, support, or act accordingly \u2013 and no one else. Similarly, we are the ones who create the sense of our own uniqueness, wan\u0005ting few or many others around us to accept it. As the number of those who perceive us as unique grows, so do our demands, and our behavior changes in that we raise our criteria and expecta\u0004tions in our relati\u0004onships, in terms of how much those people who see us as unique are willing to do for us, to please us, or even to forgive us. A look in the mirror of our own uniqueness, which is precisely those other people, creates an oft\u0006en unrealis\u0004tic image of us or at least an insight into what is alright to ask for and expect, and at the same \u0004time not provide. The psychological self-portrait of uniqueness or a portrait of someone\u2019s uniqueness, as always, has the other side of the coin, which is what is expected from us as unique people and being aware of how difficult it is to survive on the pedestal that others have put us\non by labeling us as unique.\nYes, opposites do att\bract, but similarities stay together! Differences are much more likely to provoke interest than similari\u0005ties. The most common differences pertain to traits or acti\u0004ons that we aspire to but that we do not own or take. Many \u0004mes we might wish to be different, like those whom we perceive as unique, quite o\u0006ften only because they\u2019re living in a dimension that is unatt\bainable to us.\nWe judge them as unique, although for others they are pretty ordinary. We flirt with our own aspects of uniqueness, experiment with possibili\u0004ties, tes\u0004ting the limits of our own percepti\u0004on of uniqueness and comparing ourselves with those who have made their authenti\u0004city transparent.\nIt is true that we are unique, but the breadth of our insights into our own uniqueness and uniqueness of others stems from feeling love or recognizing likeness.\nWhen we shake hands with someone who is like us, we don\u2019t think about how our hands are always unique \u2013 star\u0004ting from fingerprints to impressions and feelings that we inspire in each other.\nWe offer our hand of authen\u0004ticity to another unique hand, not thinking in advance whether we will be (or become) the one who is unique for that person or situati\u0004on. We remember that later, the moment when we recognize the importance of the relati\u0004onship or circumstance to ourselves. We take a look at our newborn and revel in the fact that it looks like us and at the same \u0004time wish the child from the bo\bttom of our hearts to be unique, to be be\btter, prett\fer, wiser and more authen\u0004tic than ourselves.\nAnd quite o\u0006ften we will raise the child in that direction. Be yourself, but stay mine. Be special, but always belong to me.\nTo us, people who are unique and special are those who are close to our hearts.\nThose who play an important role in our lives, who have special importance and place.\nSo, when we ask ourselves if there is someone who does not want to be unique, the answer will be \u201cno.\u201d We all want it and we all have at least a few people that we think are unique on a very personal level, and we are aware that it would hurt us if they too wouldn\u2019t keep a special place in their lives for us.\nIt is true that we are unique, but the breadth of our insights into our own uniqueness and uniqueness of others stems from feeling love or recognizing likeness.\nWhen we realize this, uniqueness will become a mirror for recognizing those we love or aspects we love, and get from others \u2013 whether they be ar\u0004tists, athletes, bosses, or random passers-by.\nDragana Deh, M.Sc., psychology, systemic therapist and life coach, together with her fellow experts designs and holds themed educa\u0004tional workshops and team building workshops tailored to the specific needs of both smaller and larger companies. If you need any information, please contact us at dragana.deh@gmail.com (www.psihooaza.com)\n \nThe post \u201cSame, Special, Free, One of a Kind\u201d appeared first on SEE Business travel & meetings magazine.", "date_published": "2018-08-01T13:07:16+02:00", "date_modified": "2018-08-01T13:07:16+02:00", "author": { "name": "Milica Novak", "url": "https://www.seebtm.com/en/author/milicanovak/", "avatar": "https://www.seebtm.com/wp-content/uploads/Milica-Novak.jpg" }, "image": "https://www.seebtm.com/wp-content/uploads/bigstock-Young-Woman-Observing-Sculptur-205755328.jpg", "tags": [ "special", "Experts opinions" ] } ] }